Progress Report 1: Article First Draft.

A screenshot of my initial draft. 

The first draft of my article, in my eyes, was largely a success. I got feedback from three 17-18 year old females right in the middle of my target market. The article contains everything I wanted it to except it was a bit short by about 100-150 words. I am hoping that these words will be made up when I do my second draft and the improvements have been made. I think that the way I have made my article formal but not too formal so as to scare off my target market has worked well but the colloquial language could be improved by using more puns than just in the headline and some contractions and slang more than just 'stuff'. I also think that my last paragraph could be edited or add another paragraph in to tie my article to the theme of the DPS because at the minute the article doesn't actually mention anything about unity and being 'friends together' and therefore I think that another paragraph is needed so that the article and pictures are not completely contrasting. Overall, the first draft of my article went well and I think that it lays a good foundation for the second draft to come along.